Contact
by Jessa4865
Summary: Someone requests Sg1's help, but things aren't exactly what they seem. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Here we go again... reviews are appreciated!_

Contact  
Jessa4865  
Spoilers: Anything, especially Urgo, but set before Season Eight cause I like General Hammond in charge and Jack on SG-1.  
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just taking them out for some fun. I'll put them back when I'm done. Promise.  
AN: Most of the stuff Carter says would bore the crap out of normal humans. Acknowledging that does not mean that Jack is stupid, for the record.

Chapter One

We were gathered around a table in the mess, enjoying a rare few moments of downtime. Teal'c and I were already working through our second helpings of dessert when Carter and Daniel finally showed up. I'd sent Daniel to drag Carter out of her lab because more often than not when I went to get her, something wound up broken and I wound up on the receiving end of a very unhappy glare, and then neither of us was in the mood for whatever I'd gone to get her for. Daniel was better at negotiating with her - proven by the fact that he'd successfully dragged her from her latest super-conducting plasma-generating something or other.

I stuck a huge bite of pie in my mouth and vowed not to say anything that would reveal that I hadn't been listening to a word of what she said in the briefing. I usually paid attention to at least some of it, but I'd been up late watching a Simpsons marathon and Carter had been particularly boring and she'd buttoned up her jacket, leaving me with absolutely nothing worth looking at. Luckily, it was Teal'c who caught me sleeping and carefully woke me without alerting anyone else.

It's not that I don't like listening to her. It's just that most of the stuff she talks about would confuse most PhD astrophysicists, which I am not. I took a physics class. When I was sixteen. It was fine. I just wouldn't make a career out of it. I certainly wouldn't listen to it if I didn't have to.

And would if be too much for her to talk about something else from time to time? I wouldn't even mind if she told me about cleaning out her gutters once in a while. But no, with Carter, it's always shop talk. And I don't mean shop like motorcycle shop talk. Hell, if she started telling me about fixing her bike, I'd be all ears. That would actually be ridiculously hot, considering that I have to work with her, not that it would be at all bad. Instead I'm always on the other end of things that I think she starts explaining just to get me to leave her alone. There have even been times when I thought she was making stuff up altogether because every once in a while, if I stick around and let her talk for more than fifteen seconds, her babble dies off and she abruptly goes back to whatever she was doing.

She smiled brightly at me as she placed her dessert on the table and took her seat next to me. I forgot entirely about the techno-babble transgressions and smiled back, like the idiot I was. I loved how she made me feel like a lovesick teenager. It'd been a long time since someone could make me smile by pretending not to be looking at me.

"So how goes the thingamajiggy studying?"

Carter bit back a grin, pretending not to be amused by my words. "Good, sir." She stuffed a giant spoonful of pie in her mouth and didn't even bother spouting off about anything scientific.

"Teal'c, I could use your help in translating some of the artifacts SG-7 brought back with them. The dialect is close to several that I recognize, but you might have better luck. I think the artifacts might even pre-date Egyptian-" Leave it to Daniel to take Carter's silence as an invitation to fill the air with his own inane scientific chatter.

I glanced at Carter, who was trying to fight back a smile. At least when she starts inadvertently lecturing me, she's still hot. And honestly, Carter's science, on occasion, involves blowing things up and exciting stuff. Frighteningly, I'd actually rather listen to Carter - and as much as I'd love to tell her that and see how happy that would make her, I couldn't possibly explain that it's just because she's Carter and therefore inherently more interesting than anyone else in the world.

So I was tuning Daniel out and trying to surreptitiously watch Carter thoroughly enjoying her dessert. That, of course, led me to think of approximately a million things she and I could have done with whipped cream that would have been a lot more fun than mutually ignoring Daniel. I watched the fork travel back and forth between her plate and her mouth and occasionally, I caught a glimpse of her tongue, which prompted me to close my eyes and think about a whole other list of things I shouldn't have been thinking about. When I opened my eyes again, I'd catch the intense stare in her eyes and realize that she was doing it on purpose. I'd be dumbfounded for a moment and then look at my own ignored plate for a moment and then I'd hear the scraping of her fork and I'd have to look and the whole thing would repeat itself.

I wanted to know how, exactly, Daniel and Teal'c could be sitting there, mere inches away, while Carter purposely tried to seduce me, and not notice a damn thing. Well, they might have noticed. Teal'c, at least, kept his eyes carefully schooled on Daniel's face the entire time. Daniel, on the other hand, only noticed that I wasn't listening to him.

On one of the trips across her face, my eyes realized she was giggling. Undoubtedly at me. Teal'c had turned to face me, as had Daniel. I looked around, willing my face not to turn red. "What?"

Daniel threw his fork on his plate, horribly insulted that I didn't find his blather as entertaining as Carter and whipped cream. "You're not listening to me at all, are you?"

I couldn't look at Carter because I knew she was trying not to laugh and watching her trying not to laugh would make me laugh. "Carter's not listening either!"

"Oh, don't even put this on me! This is between you guys."

I couldn't help but glare at her while Carter innocently went back to her pie. As innocently as she could while her leg suddenly pressed against mine. I yelped. I stared. The tablecloths weren't that long and there were a lot of other people present. She had one hell of a nerve.

She pulled back, dropping her fork in favor of her finger to smear the last bit of whipped cream across her lips. "Sorry, I thought that was Daniel's leg."

Teal'c suddenly redoubled his effort to eat his pie without seeing anything although I was pretty sure he was grinning. Daniel, however, was still staring at me with his arms crossed against his chest. "Don't you have anything to say? An apology? An explanation? A denial?"

I motioned at Carter, who had taken to stealing whipped cream off Teal'c's plate with her finger and then licking it off. Teal'c cast a sidelong glance at her and promptly ignored her. Daniel didn't seem to notice. "Do you see this?"

Daniel shrugged. "What? The four of us eat together most of the time."

And there was her leg again. Daniel was sitting across from her. I was sitting next to her. There was no way that she was going for Daniel, not that I'd ever really bought that. I abruptly pushed back from the table, irritated that Carter was getting to me. Usually it was the other way around, and I was quickly realizing why it upset her so much. "Daniel, you are a red-blooded American male. Don't tell me that you are completely unaffected by the notion of Carter and whipped cream." I couldn't believe I'd been so bold. Neither could Carter, apparently, because she'd stopped her seductive attempt mid-lick. Even Teal'c was staring at me.

Daniel glanced at Carter, a strange look passing over his face when he actually saw her licking at the whipped cream that was melting down her finger. Then he looked back at me and shrugged. "Well, she's not really my type, Jack." His expression turned slightly disgusted as he shoved his pie away from him. "Actually, she's like my sister. I'm not really hungry anymore."

I saw Teal'c was shaking his head disapprovingly. When I glanced back at Carter, her head was hanging and her face was red. I felt bad. In the interest of not making an ass out of myself, I'd made an ass out of myself and embarrassed everyone at the table. And if I were to be honest, I had to admit I didn't really want Carter to ever stop her extremely rare flirtatious efforts.

I was about to apologize to everyone when they all suddenly stood up. I was staring at Carter's legs, realizing I'd had a precious opportunity to touch them and missed it. I shook my head and resigned myself to the fact that it would be months or years before Carter ever took it upon herself to tease me again. "Where's everybody going?" And I did mean everybody - every single person in the room was heading for the door.

Carter pointed at the flashing lights. "Where do you think, sir?"

I realized I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I'd actually blocked out the wail of the unauthorized off-world activation alarm. Wow. She'd really thrown me for a loop. She grinned at me. "You coming, sir?" Once again mortified, I fell in step beside her as we ran for the control room.

Just as we ducked inside, we heard the booming voice. "This is Togar. I require your assistance."

Togar? Why did that name sound familiar? I glanced at Carter.

"Urgo, sir."

"Ah." I stared warily at the iris. "Wasn't he a million times more advanced than us?"

Carter shrugged. "Apparently." I could tell, years later, that it still bugged her that someone had stolen her memories.

General Hammond spoke into the microphone. "What type of assistance do you need?"

"We are under attack by the Goa'uld. Will you help us? Urgo indicated that you often fight the Goa'uld and win."

I shrugged at Hammond and then checked with Carter. She bit her lip for a moment before she turned to the general. "Sir, if they are under attack and we help them, they might be willing to share some of their technology with us."

I crossed my arms and sighed. "Or he might use us and then send us back with our memories wiped."

"Or he might use us and then send us back with our memories wiped, sir." I grinned as Carter parroted my words. She repeated what I said far more infrequently than she flirted with me.

General Hammond looked at me, probably wondering why I was so damn happy. Then he focused on Carter. "Do you think their technology is advanced enough to merit putting SG teams at risk?"

I couldn't help but stick my nose in. "Sir, is it ever really a bad thing to kill off a Goa'uld?"

Carter cleared her throat and ignored me. "We don't really know anything about their technology besides that it's much more advanced than ours. Certainly their ability to implant a device in the human brain without any physical trauma, in addition to removing it, would be a marvel for the medical profession. The networking capabilities of their chips are also quite a few years beyond our own and their uh-" She glanced at me. "Memory uh-" Another glance. "Wiping, for lack of a better word-" I beamed happily. "Technology would be extremely useful for covert operations."

Hammond nodded thoughtfully. "So you recommend that we help, Major?"

Carter grinned cheekily at me. "Sir, is it ever really a bad thing to kill off a Goa'uld?"

I was smiling so hard I thought my face would break.

"Very well, you have a go." Hammond glanced back and forth between us. "And when you get back, you're taking down time. Far, far, far away from one another."

I could have sworn Carter was giggling as we walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Please let me know if you like this!_

Chapter Two

A few minutes later, we were in full gear, waiting for the gate to connect. Three other teams, including the clueless, albeit enthusiastic, jarheads of SG-3, were lined up behind us. I glanced at my sides - Carter on one, Teal'c on the other - and decided, particularly from the no-nonsense way Carter held her P-90 that it was almost fun. Except, of course, that we were going into battle and that some of us could die. I grimaced as the gate roared to life. Yeah, that whole death thing certainly put a damper on the mood.

I took a deep breath, listened for Hammond's send-off, and led the teams up the ramp.

And promptly realized I was leading fifteen other people right back down. Confusion took the place of realization when I saw the defense team and General Hammond lined up in front of us. My shoulders slumped and my gaze made its way over my shoulder to catch Carter's slightly dazed frown. She took a moment to glance around before her eyes locked on mine. I realized something as I looked at her with a stupid grin spreading across my face: as riveting as Carter's smile was, a confused, stunned Carter was absolutely, irresistibly cute.

My arm snaked out, without permission, to hug her. Luckily, I pulled it back in time to only pat her gregariously on the back. "Off to the infirmary, then." I grinned at General Hammond as he called out the time of the briefing, letting my jovial act hide the anger I felt for having had my memory erased once again.

I had myself scanned and poked and pinched. I checked in my weapons at the armory, utterly dismayed to discover that none of us had fired a single shot. I had a few more minutes before I was due to discuss what I couldn't remember, so I went to the locker room and changed needlessly. While it didn't appear that we'd done any sort of fighting, I always liked to change into clean clothes when I came back from a mission. I leaned my face against the wall, mentally berating myself. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I'd been in charge. I felt responsible. The cool wall was more soothing than fit my mood, so I lifted my head and let it drop back down. It hurt more than I expected.

Carter walked in then, sitting on the bench. Her head hung despondently. She wasn't there to change; I figured she was just doing the same thing I was - looking for someplace quiet where she could sulk. I also figured she was no more guilty than me, which didn't make a lot of sense as I couldn't remember anything and could very well have been guilty of something.

"It wasn't your fault, Carter." Truth or not, I felt team morale was my duty. I took a seat beside her, absently realizing that my sock was bunched uncomfortably around my toe.

"It wasn't yours either, sir." She shifted the collar of her shirt around distractedly.

"And you know that how?" I couldn't take it anymore, so I pulled off my boot, readjusted my sock, and then replaced my boot.

"Because it was a trap. You know they're going to find something when they're finished reviewing those scans, right? If I hadn't wanted to get my hands on that technology so badly, we would never had been in such a position to be compromised."

"We don't know they did anything to us. Maybe we just beat the Goa'uld and left."

She glared at me. "With what? The power of our minds? None of us fired." She yanked at the collar of her shirt before she pulled it completely off to inspect it.

Unused to Carter stripping, I felt I recovered well by quickly busying myself with adjusting my belt. I heard a frustrated sigh as she put her shirt back on. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that I shouldn't congratulate myself for not grabbing her as I'd had no right to think of doing such a thing in the first place.

"God damn it!" She whipped her shirt back off, threw it on the floor, and started scavenging for another one. She repeated the process about four times, but I barely noticed because, between my belt and my socks, I was having my own clothing issues.

We arrived twenty minutes late for the briefing. But really, our lateness didn't bother General Hammond nearly as much as our attire did. I'd tried, I really had, but no matter what I did, my socks kept bunching up and driving me nuts. So I'd taken them off and put on my boots instead. But that felt worse, so I took the boots off. My belt plagued me as well, as did my pants. So I changed into my jeans. Carter'd had about the same luck with all the shirts and apparently her pants as well and finally wound up in a tank top and shorts. I'd pointed out how silly she looked wearing combat boots with that outfit, so she took them off and opted for flip-flops instead.

And so, we arrived late, but decidedly more comfortable. Me in jeans and bare feet; Carter ready for the beach. The way Hammond glared at me, I almost wished I'd worn the damn socks. Carter didn't appear to care as she took her seat and tucked her feet beneath her.

"Colonel, do you have a problem with our dress code?"

"Um-" I knew that I would have to explain my attire, but I wasn't sure how. I decided I'd be honest. "Actually, sir, yes I do have a problem with it. My feet hurt and my uniform was itchy." More like irritatingly rough, but I felt like that would be a terrible blow to my masculinity.

Carter looked up surprised. "Mine too!"

Oh, I could have kissed her right then. Not just for the fact that she seemed so surprised by my words that she gave the impression we hadn't just come from the locker room together, but also because it meant she wasn't just stripping in front of me to continue her earlier flirtation.

I motioned at Carter, as if using her as proof that I wasn't just being a rule breaker, as if to say 'surely Carter wouldn't blow off regulations just to screw with you.' "Maybe something happened on the planet."

Carter's face lit up; obviously the thought hadn't occurred to her. It made me feel brilliant and I started to smile. She surveyed the room. "Anyone else's uniform uncomfortable?"

I looked around and felt my smile faltering. All four teams were crowded into the small room and every last person there was in uniform. I shrugged. "Maybe it was a practical joke."

Carter piped up with another grin. "Which no one would remember because none of us remember what happened."

Daniel cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses which usually meant he was about to say something I wasn't going to like. "Jack, all of us remember what happened."

I looked at Carter, who was as dumbfounded as I was, evidenced by that enticing deer-in-the-headlights, wide-eyed, open-mouthed, please-Jack-won't-you-kiss-me stare. A glance around the room revealed everyone was nodding in agreement. I heard a loud thunk as Carter's head dropped on to the conference table in shame. I crossed my arms over my chest. "You have got to be kidding me."

General Hammond shook his head, unimpressed by our act. "I don't know what you two are trying to pull, but we'll wait here until you change."

I couldn't believe he was torturing us. Of course, I knew he probably didn't believe he was torturing us, but I felt I deserved to be annoyed anyway. We were silent as we changed back into the offending uniforms. Carter's eyes slid toward me a couple of times as we headed back, quite unhappily, to the meeting. But every time I met her eyes, she was distracted by tugging at her shirt or I had to fiddle with my belt. Carter sat down in her chair, continuously tugging at one part of her clothes or another. I kept stomping my feet, trying to shift my toes around until they didn't hurt.

The general glared at us. "Colonel, why don't you start by telling us what happened?"

"I walked up the ramp. I walked down the ramp. That's it, in a nutshell." I bit my lip and thought about it. "No, forget the nutshell. That's just it." Carter nodded emphatically; my loyal companion. She was like that dog I kept talking about getting. Once again, without permission, my hand reached out. But that time, I didn't catch it in time and my hand patted gently against her hair.

It didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't be touching Carter's hair, let alone touching Carter's hair in a room full of coworkers, let alone touching Carter's hair in front of the general. All I could think about was how incredibly soft her hair was, especially as opposed to the rough, itchy material of my pants. Carter was soft. I grinned. I wondered if she was always that soft. But it wasn't the sort of thing I could ask her; she might get offended. I looked around, trying to pick someone who might know and someone I wouldn't get angry at for knowing if Carter's hair was usually soft. Daniel might know and he was right across the table. Better yet, he was staring right at me.

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"Is Carter always this soft?"

Daniel glanced at Carter, who apparently didn't mind that my hand was in her hair, and then back at me. He swallowed hard. "I don't know, Jack. I don't really pet her."

And suddenly, amid the hysterical, howling laughter of all those people, I realized I was, in fact, petting my second in command. And what was worse - Carter was smiling at me encouragingly.

I yanked my hand back so quickly her hair got caught in my watch and she was caught so off-guard by the tug that her head wound up in my lap. More laughter. Teal'c and Daniel looked uncomfortable. Hammond looked pissed. Carter looked sheepish as she tried to pick her hair free from the Velcro on my watch.

I tried to help, but I stopped when I saw tears forming in her eyes. "Carter?" I was whispering, but everyone could hear me anyhow.

She sniffled. "It really hurts."

General Hammond, who I found out later had decided to give up caffeine and sweets that same day, stood up suddenly, walked around to us and forcibly ripped Carter's hair loose. She shrieked and her hand flew to the side of her head while she rocked back and forth. Hammond sat back down in his chair; his patience having already run out of the room and hitched a ride to Vegas.

"Would someone else like to tell me what the hell happened?" He was ignoring the low, keening whine coming from Carter.

Teal'c spoke up. "General Hammond, I believe that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter have both obviously been affected by something on the planet."

Hammond finally looked interested in something someone had to say and encouraged Teal'c to speak, which finally gave me the chance to stealthily remove my boots and socks. Carter's hand slowly lowered from the sore spot on her scalp and fell to the table. I was hypnotized by the way she moved, first resting her whole hand on the table and then lifting it up and skimming just her fingertips across the surface. She smiled as she did it, peering at me occasionally. I smiled myself as my fingers kneaded the armrests of my chair. I'd never realized how smooth and soft the leather was.

Teal'c continued to speak, explaining how everyone had been stripped of weapons immediately upon exiting the wormhole. The other fourteen were trapped in a windowless room for nearly twelve hours immediately upon getting there. Carter and I, however, never appeared on the other side. Teal'c mentioned his concern, as well as the others, that there had been a malfunction resulting in our displacement. Then they were suddenly transported back through the gate where they discovered their weapons as well as Carter and I had been returned.

Hammond turned to Carter, evidently not trusting me. "What do you remember, Major Carter?"

"Huh?" Although she seemed to hear her name, her attention didn't waver from her close up inspection of the thin rubber strip that was adhered to the side of the table to protect the wood from wear. She'd leaned in closely as she rubbed her hand back and forth of the point where the rubber met the wood. Tentatively, I reached out and felt it. I was fascinated. The smoothness of the table. The smoothness of the rubber. And the tiny, sharp joint where they met.

"Major!"

Carter jumped back, her hands flying back to land on the armrests. "Sir?" Hammond held her attention for only a moment before she was once again transfixed, that time by the leather on the chairs. Her eyes widened as she glanced at me. I nodded at her; I knew how incredibly soft it was. It was amazing.

Dr. Frasier walked in, stepping right beside me as she addressed General Hammond. I glanced at her, more specifically, at the white coat she wore. I wondered if it was soft. Checking with Carter, who nodded at me to indicate her interest in my findings, I reached out, letting my hand fall against the fabric. I hadn't even heard what she was saying, but I noticed she stopped abruptly and turned to me. "Sir?"

The fabric was as rough as my pants. Disappointed, I turned back to Carter and shook my head to tell her it wasn't worth the effort. I didn't even notice Janet was staring at me, waiting for my response. I noticed her hair. I wondered if it was as soft as Carter's. I reached, jerking my hand back quickly when I felt the stiffness. I glanced at Carter. "Hairspray." She made a face and I grinned. I liked that she didn't like hairspray. It added to that adorably rumpled look she had about her when she was working in her lab. It added to the incredibly fine texture of her hair. It, unfortunately, didn't explain why my hair was running through the blonde strands again.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Sorry for the delay. I have some big RL issues that I'm dealing with at the moment. More is already written, so hopefully there won't be as long a wait for the next part! Please keep the reviews coming! They motivate me!_

Chapter Three

Luckily, I happened to catch Dr. Frasier's words, which did, somewhat, kind of explain it. "Yes, sir, all the scans were clear, except for Colonel O'Neill's and Major Carter's. They both show a device located in the exact same spot as before that appears almost identical to the ones responsible for the whole Urgo incident."

My hand stilled in Carter's hair and we simultaneously looked around. "Urgo?" Her voice was almost as soft as her hair. Nothing happened.

"Urgo!" I thought maybe shouting would have some effect.

Daniel watched us eagerly. "Anything?"

We checked with each other and then shook our heads. I shrugged and went back to petting Carter as I started to wonder if the rest of her was as soft as her hair. She must have been having the same thought, because her hand reached out, tentatively touching my cheek. I could see the question in her eyes, if it was ok with me. Her fingers moved along my chin and I closed my eyes, savoring the touch. I'd never felt anything so good in my life. Her fingers stopped and slowly began moving back and forth. I peeked at her. She didn't even notice. She was staring intently at my chin, rubbing her hand over my five o'clock shadow.

People were probably staring at us, but I certainly didn't care. The conversation continued around us. Hammond dismissed the other teams, since they seemed unaffected, but no one left. They were getting a kick out of watching us. I still didn't care. My hand moved to her neck, reveling in the feel of her skin.

And then I was staring at her lips, knowing undeniably that they were soft and wanting desperately to feel them. The only thought that registered with me was to check if it was ok with Carter. She was staring at my lips; her smile mirroring my own. We leaned in.

"Colonel! Major!" Hammond was on his feet. We jerked apart; our hands retreating back to our respective laps. "What the hell is going on here? Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I knew I should answer, but the only thing I could think of was how desperate I was to feel her lips. I kept casting my eyes over at her and was thrilled each and every time to discover that she was doing the same.

Luckily, Daniel came to our rescue. "General, when we were all implanted with Urgo, he was able to enhance our sensory perception - but it was only taste and smell. Perhaps this Urgo program is designed a little differently. Maybe this one enhances touch."

Teal'c nodded, as though our particularly odd behavior really needed any more acknowledgment. "I believe we were summoned to P4X-884 as a rouse. Perhaps Togar's true intention was to find test subjects for his new program."

I was bored, and completely unstimulated by the chatter, so I turned back to Carter. I reached over and took her hand in mine, delighting the sensation of her skin moving against mine. She leaned closer and put her other hand on my arm, testing the feel. I felt myself being drawn toward her again and I did nothing to resist it. It didn't seem like Carter was trying either.

"Damn it!" Hammond hurried over to us, using the wheels on the chairs to his advantage and pushing Carter beyond my reach. "Will you two stop touching each other!"

Dead silence reigned for about ten seconds. Janet was the first to give in, dissolving into a fit of giggles unlike any I'd ever seen. Being her best friend, Carter was a second behind her. And being trapped in a room with two grown women giggling like school girls, the rest of us quickly followed suit.

General Hammond, however, did not giggle. He didn't laugh. He didn't hoot and holler like those overzealous Marines. He fixed me with a glare that should have taken away my urge to feel what the glossy top of his head felt like. Luckily, for both our sakes, he backed out of reach. "Colonel, I want you to take SG-1 right back there and get those damn things removed."

I opened my mouth to argue that I didn't want it removed because tactile sensation had suddenly become so amazing that it would be a shame to be without it. Not that it would be entirely bad if my pants didn't physically hurt anymore.

But Daniel spoke up, which was probably a good thing. "Sir, with all due respect, what if the devices are moved from Jack and Sam to Teal'c and I?"

I leaned back so I could see Carter. We shared a smile thinking about what a trip it would be if Teal'c and Daniel suddenly discovered that touching each other was fun. I caught the look of disgust on Teal'c's face, which impressed me because he was never really emotive. He turned to General Hammond. "Perhaps it is best if Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter return alone."

I glanced at the general to see what he thought of the suggestion. I knew he was loathe to send a mere two people into any situation without backup, but Daniel had a valid point. Switching the devices to anyone else would have the exact same disruptive effective - only I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it. Hammond turned to look at me, narrowing his eyes when he caught me closely examining the texture of my watch.

"Colonel!"

Sheepishly, I lowered my arms, fully intending to return to my study as soon as he wasn't looking. "Yes, sir?" And then I watched in horror as Carter's hand appeared from behind him and poked him right in the belly.

The sad thing was, I wasn't horrified that she was touching his large belly - no, that would have been understandable, really. My problem was, based on my assessment of how angry he was and how quickly he relocated to the other side of the table, I knew her actions pretty much destroyed any chance I had of finding out if his bald head was as smooth as it looked. And that was unfortunate, because I desperately wanted to know.

For his part, the general was very mature and patient in his response. He didn't explode with anger as I'd expected. He surveyed the room with a straight face and ordered everyone out. Then he looked at me and Carter. "Everyone, except you two." The smile on his face at that moment was downright chilling. Carter must have thought so too because she scooted her chair back next to mine.

He narrowed his eyes as he looked at us, a deep red color creeping into his cheeks. As much as I wanted to touch Carter again, his stare kept my hands glued to the cushioned armrests. Luckily, he couldn't see under the table where my bare foot had started to nudge Carter's leg. Hammond blew out a breath which conveniently masked the soft sigh that came from Carter.

I expected a stern dressing down. I expected a lecture. I expected some horrible punishment, like not being able to work with Carter anymore, which I was prepared to fight him on.

Instead he held our gazes alternately for a long time before he spoke. "I swear, Jack, if you two are putting me on, you will wish you hadn't ever met me. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Absolutely." I glanced at Carter, who'd take to touching the rubber soles of her boots. Even if he thought we were playing with him, certainly he knew it would take something extraordinary to render Carter fascinated with her shoes - really, it was Carter, after all, probably the smartest person on the planet. Of course, as I watched her, I noticed her shirt, which had been hastily tucked in on her way to the briefing, had come untucked in her fervor to study her boots. My eyes locked on that pale patch of exposed skin. I forgot entirely about the general and reached out, letting my fingers lightly brush across the spot.

Hammond might have been shocked beyond belief, unbelievably irritated, or thoroughly convinced. I had no idea; I wasn't looking at him. I was watching Carter. She jerked upright the moment my hands touched her skin and then, as my hand slowly began to caress her, she turned just as slowly towards me. I could see the amazement in her eyes and I knew my touch felt as good to her as her skin did to me.

And I saw something else pop into that brilliant mind as well - if a chaste touch like that could feel so good, then the effects on anything more intimate would be unfathomable. Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed the slightest bit.

My stupid grin returned when I realized she was, in fact, fathoming it.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: So sorry for the delay. RL just keeps getting worse and I can't quite ever find the time to write. Hope you like it!_

Chapter Four

Hammond cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him, although I didn't bother to remove my hand from Carter's back. "Colonel, Major, I want you going back through that gate as soon as humanly possible to have those damn things removed before you do anything dumber than you've already done with a roomful of witnesses. Unfortunately, I can't possibly send you back immediately because you've already had one fifteen hour mission today, whether you remember it or not." He collected his papers and glared at me.

I realized my hand had migrated from the small of her back closer to her shoulders, pushing up her shirt in the process and making what I was doing painfully obvious. With a disappointed sigh from both of us, my hand moved back to my chair. Carter's leg pressed against mine and I continued my earlier exploration with my foot where Hammond couldn't see it.

"You'll go back to P4X-884 at 0700. And because that piece of technology has apparently replaced the section of your brains that store good sense, I'll have you both placed in isolation quarters for the night." He smiled evilly as he reached for the phone to call for our captors to come haul us away.

"But, sir, there's nothing to touch in isolation quarters!" Carter looked at me with the saddest, most stricken expression I'd ever seen. I'm not sure which one of us whimpered, but it was truly a pathetic sound. She was so upset that she was on the verge of tears. And, I realized, she was on the verge of tears at the thought of being locked away from me. Well, sort of, anyway.

I decided I'd fake being in control of myself and spoke up with the most professionalism I could muster. "General, sir, since we're not being confined for a crime or a contagion, may we take some things with us?" I could see he wasn't quite sure what I was getting at, except that it was probably a ploy. "I have a Game Boy in my locker and I'm sure Carter has some sort of toys in her lab she can play with." I nodded at Carter who was bent over in her chair feeling the carpet innocently as she continued to secretly play footsie with me. I was truly appreciative of her multi-tasking ability. "I don't think having a genius like her sitting around bored is a good idea, if you catch my drift, sir."

Hammond sighed, still sure it was a scam. "I suppose that would be acceptable. But the SFs will accompany you and they are not going to leave you alone together at any time."

Carter sniffled at that, pausing her rediscovery of her chair.

Hammond's head cocked to the side thoughtfully. "I wonder why it seems to be affecting her more than you."

I knew it was a rhetorical question, but I felt it was a good idea to distract him so that my leg could continue to fumble against Carter's. If I was going to be separated from her all night, I figured I'd better get my fill of touching. Not that I could ever possibly get my fill of touching her. "Well, sir, honestly, I think I'm usually much more tactile. Everyone's always yelling at me for touching things." I nodded at Carter. "Especially her. Novelty might have a lot to do with it." I didn't mention that touching Carter would be rather novel for me. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that my hand had somehow found a way to reach under the armrest to lay against her leg.

Hammond snorted. "Colonel, fascinating as touching each other might be right now, I assure you that you are still a candidate for courts martial." There was a twinkle in his eyes that told me he was well aware of where my limbs were.

"Yes, sir." But I didn't move them.

He dismissed us as soon as the SFs arrived. Hammond warned them about leaving us alone. I happily noted that they were new, relatively young guys. Young and new meant I could trick them into following my orders once the general was out of the room. I thought I saw the sparkle in Carter's eyes as well, but I might have been imagining it. She'd quickly been distracted by their sidearms. I tried to fight as long as I could, but eventually I had to give in and feel their jackets. One of them was softer than the other. I snickered to myself as I glanced at his left hand, remembering those painful days when I'd first been married to Sara and I'd had to go to work in my lilac-scented, fabric-softened clothes.

We probably looked rather ridiculous parading down the hall. One SF was in front, followed by me - while I continued to rub his shirt, then there was Carter, who'd stuck her hand in my hair and wasn't about to move it, and finally, the other SF who was pretending not to see any of it. When we reached the elevator, the first one turned around to look at me

"Sir? Where to first?"

I was about to suggest Carter's lab, but she had other ideas. She pulled at her collar with the hand that wasn't massaging my hair. "Um, sir, can we go change first?"

I stared at her while I pondered her question. Hammond had objected to us being out of uniform during the briefing, but surely he didn't expect us to stay in uncomfortable, itchy clothes all night. I smiled. "Good idea, Major." I turned to the SFs. "Locker room."

We all piled into the elevator. I was grinning at the mere thought that I was about to get out of my stiff clothes. I noticed that Carter was grinning away too, although from the playful glint I thought I saw in her eyes, she was grinning for another reason altogether. When we reached the locker room, the SFs tried to decide how best to follow the generals orders. Much to my chagrin, they decided that one of them would come in with me while the other waited with Carter in the hallway; then we would swap. I was going to argue, but I couldn't come up with anything better than their idea sucked because I wanted to be alone in the locker room with Carter.

The single SF smiled broadly as he nodded at Carter. "I guess I'm waiting with you, ma'am."

Carter narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth and it took all of my strength not to plug my fingers in my ears in anticipation of her scream. But she didn't scream. She simply shook her head. "I'm sorry, that's just unacceptable. Under no circumstances are either one of you going to accompany me while I change."

I folded my arms across my chest and nodded, pretending that I wasn't kicking myself for not thinking of that angle. The SFs glanced at each other, obviously trying to come up with another plan. I smiled, seeing my chance. "We'll go in and get changed and you guys wait here to watch the door."

"Um-" The lilac-scented one bit his lip, trying to find a respectful way to argue with a superior officer.

The other one spoke up. "General Hammond said we weren't supposed to leave you guys alone."

Carter nodded. "You're absolutely right. But I won't be alone. Colonel O'Neill will be with me. And he won't be alone because I'll be with him."

I patted her heartily on the back while nearly shoving her toward the locker room. "Exactly. You're following orders." I was right on her heels when the door closed behind us. "God, you're brilliant."

She spun around and I was expecting a comeback of some sort, like how had it taken me so long to realize that. But she said nothing. She only shoved me back against the door and pressed herself against me. "Well, the general didn't specify that we shouldn't be alone together."

I grinned as I inhaled her fairly intoxicating scent. "Next time I give you an order, I'm going to have to be very careful with my words."

She leaned forward and nuzzled against my neck, causing my knees to nearly give out. She stretched up on her tip-toes to whisper in my ear. "To be fair, I don't usually look for loopholes to avoid following a direct order."

Before I lost complete control, I decided to turn the tables on her, leaning in to nibble on her earlobe. "Lucky me."

I felt her legs fold and her weight settle into my arms. "No way. Lucky me."

Then we didn't feel the need to say much of anything. There were a few moans and even a couple squeals, the squeals were all from Carter, I swear. The only problem was, with our heightened senses, we kept getting distracted. I think we spent a good ten minutes just staring at our hands and marveling at how nice they felt when we interlaced our fingers. Just when things were starting to get interesting - as in, right when we realized that the skin contact from removing both of our shirts was as amazing as holdings hands was - the SFs knocked on the door.

"Sir, ma'am, is everything ok in there?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Carter chose that moment to suck on the spot below my ear that normally made me nuts, making my guttural moan of 'oh, yeah' sound particularly inappropriate. She giggled and I wanted to chastise her, but then she raked her nails down my back and I immediately forgave her.

At some point after that, I decided I absolutely had to taste every inch of her skin and the best way to do that, was, in fact, not leaning against the door. I carefully maneuvered her over to the benches and was trying my best to delicately lower her onto her back while she was kissing me senseless, not that I was particularly sensible at the moment. Finally, she was settled and staring up at me with the most unbelievably sexy look on her with her with hair all disheveled from my own hands. I smiled down at her, fully intending to consummate our relationship right there in the locker room.

She looked up at me, her eyes widening the slightest bit. And then her mouth moved.

But it was a decidedly masculine voice that hollered. "Colonel O'Neill, just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I held Carter's eyes for a brief moment before I carefully untangled myself and moved to the far end of the bench. I couldn't look at the general. I just couldn't. For all my posturing and breaking every rule in the book, I didn't actually want to get court martialled. I dropped my face in my hands and fervently began to wish that none of it had ever happened.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Looks like there's going to be one or two more chapters to this. Thanks for reviewing!_

Chapter Five

I thought for a moment that my prayer to disappear had been answered. There was dead silence. Even the blood that had been pounding through my veins from the rush of touching Carter and the shock of seeing Hammond had quieted. I waited longer than I felt I should have to for him to say something. I waited longer than I felt I should have to for the SFs to haul me away to the brig. Eventually, curiosity won out and I peaked through my fingers to see if my prayer had made Hammond disappear.

No such luck. Hammond's eyes fixed on mine immediately. I thought I'd been on the receiving end of some extremely angry stares in my life, but they were nothing compared to the look Hammond was giving me. Out of fear that looks could actually kill, I glanced at Carter. She'd managed to sit up and pull on a shirt, thankfully, but she still looked far too kissable for my mental health. Her hair was sticking up in all directions. Her lips were swollen. Her cheeks were flushed.

I stood up, belatedly realizing, and only after I saw Carter, that a general had entered the room and that I should stand. Unfortunately, standing up moved me closer to Carter. And once I was there, I noticed that faint perfume that was inherently Carter - soap and shampoo and something else. And of course that perfume - which, for the record, I had previously been damn near immune to - was particularly powerful. Even as I stood there, with Hammond glaring at us, I felt myself shifting closer. I wasn't sure what I thought I was going to do, what with Hammond there and all, but I couldn't help myself. I actually felt the sleeve of her shirt touch my bare arm.

Hammond narrowed his eyes so far that they nearly closed. "Colonel." His even, measured tone gave me the idea that I was in so much trouble that I really ought to care. I almost started to, but Carter shifted a little bit, allowing her arm to press lightly against mine. Hammond grunted and shifted his weight, giving me a fairly frightening image that he was about to charge us like a bull. "Colonel O'Neill, I want you to go over there. Now." He pointed across the room.

I glanced at the area. It was woefully lacing Carter-ness. I frowned and decided to risk Hammond charging me. "May I ask why, sir?"

If the man was ever going to blow a gasket, it was at that moment. "Why?" He crossed the room to stand directly in front of me. Again, I normally would have been concerned about the multiple counts of disobeying a direct order that I was facing, but Carter shifted closer as she pitifully tried to cower behind me. I turned my head slightly to peek at her. That only made matter worse. "Colonel, may I have your attention, please!"

For just one moment, I contemplated cowering behind Carter. I winced. "Sorry, sir?"

"You're sorry? I just caught you having sex with your second-in-command after disobeying a direct order to stay away from each other and all you have to say is 'sorry?'"

Common sense would have told me to be quiet and let him vent. That is, if I'd had any common sense. "We weren't having sex, per se, when you walked in. Not yet, at least."

He actually did charge me then. Maybe he was just going to get in my face and yell, but I only saw a snarling bull and I was waving a red flag. So I took a huge step back, accidentally shoving Carter in the process. Carter bumped into the bench, lost her balance and grabbed the closest thing with which to steady herself: me. Not expecting Carter's dead weight, I fell back, sending both of us careening over the bench and onto the floor.

We both lay there stunned for a long time. The trouble with an enhanced sense of touch is that a fall like that really, really hurts. Nonetheless, I scrambled off of her as soon as I recovered from the shock. Carter unsteadily climbed to her feet, rubbing the back of her head with one hand and that forearm with the other hand.

Seeing her injured, and that spellbinding dazed look of hers, I completed forgot about Hammond. I turned to face her, putting my hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

She looked up at me, glanced at my hand where it rested on her shoulder, and then turned back to me with a heated stare. Apparently, she'd forgotten about Hammond as well. A sexy grin slid across her face. "I'm just fine, sir."

I started to smile back. "Good." We both leaned forward.

"Colonel! Major!"

I turned away from Carter, stunned at my own behavior, flabbergasted by Carter's.

Hammond glanced back and forth between us. "You really can't control yourselves, can you?" Neither of us bothered to respond. "Major Carter, with me. Colonel, you're spending the night in a holding cell. Major Carter will be placed in one as well as soon as I'm certain you're locked up."

I bit my lip, wondering if there was a particular reason why he was going so easy on us. Carter dutifully followed him to the door, staring back at me over her shoulder sadly as she went.

Hammond stopped halfway through the door and noticed that Carter's steps had shortened and slowed. "Major Carter!" Her shoulders slumped as she caught up with him. Hammond glared at her, but she didn't notice because her head was hanging. His eyes met mine instead. "And don't think for one second that there won't be a punishment for this behavior."

I watched Carter swallowed hard and nod, thinking he was talking to her. "Yes, sir." I'd never heard anyone sounding so forlorn and it nearly broke my heart. So Carter unhappily trailed Hammond down the hall. As the door was closing, I stretched my neck to watch her as long as I could. Her hand played along the wall as she walked. I could imagine the feel of the concrete beneath her fingers. Just thinking about it made me reach out and feel it for myself.

Apparently Hammond was a big fan of overkill. Either that or he was particularly angry or perhaps he thought I might make some sort of an attempt to get to Carter, which I decided after the fact might have been worth it. Whatever he thought, I personally found the five SFs he sent to escort me to my cell to be excessive. Because really, without Carter around to distract me, I could just as easily amuse myself by touching everything on my way to the cell. Once I was there, however, I had to pace myself for fear I'd run out of things to touch long before morning.

Not one to take advice from anyone, including myself, I had examined every surface in the tiny room twice within an hour. I sat down on the stiff, uncomfortable mattress in my itchy pants and cursed myself for having wasted the opportunity to change into something else. But thinking of what I'd been wasting that time doing brought a smile to my face and, for a moment, I didn't care.

I'd kissed Carter. I'd touched Carter. And she'd quite thoroughly enjoyed it. Few people have ever seen such an incredible smile as the one that was plastered on my face at that moment. Unfortunately, I immediately realized how grossly inappropriate my actions had been. And then I remembered how it came to pass that we hadn't made it further - Hammond. I was so going to get it. Carter would probably get a sharp reprimand, but I knew Hammond had a soft spot for her. Everyone had a soft spot for her. I blamed it on the dimples. I, on the other hand, didn't have any dimples and I didn't have big blue eyes that I could bat shamefully and therefore get Hammond to blame someone else for my actions. I was so going to get it. I hung my head and spent the night berating myself.


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: Hey, kids, remember me? I haven't forgotten this story, nor have I forgotten the ending which should be in the next part. My life is completely insane, that's all I can say. I hope you guys are still interested! Please read and review!_

Chapter Six

I was up before the sun. Well, I probably was, but in a holding cell, in a mountain, twenty stories below ground, it was hard to tell what the sun was doing. Another group of five SFs came to retrieve me. I nearly pointed out that it was even more unnecessary than before - I'd happily go anywhere if it would get me to Carter.

Hammond didn't bother with much of a briefing. Not that I noticed what he was saying anyway. I spent the time staring at Carter, who Hammond had sensibly insisted stay on the opposite side of the table from me. She looked tired and rumpled and exactly not how she ever looked in front of me. I imagined, like me, she'd been forced to go straight to the briefing without stopping at a mirror. She stifled a yawn and I knew she'd been up all night exploring everything within reach. I imagined if I had the chance and or the nerve to put my arm around her right then, she'd snuggle right into me and take a nap. I could almost feel her soft skin and her soft hair and the light tickle of her breath on my skin.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

My eyes unhappily jerked away from Carter. "Yes, sir?"

"What are you smiling at?"

Sure enough, I could feel the silly grin on my face. I couldn't answer the question without making him mad. Of course, I couldn't not answer the question without making him mad. I looked down, hoping the guilty face I was making would be enough to placate him. "Nothing, sir."

"You'd better hope she doesn't take that personally." Apparently, Hammond was still suffering the ill effects of caffeine and sugar withdrawal. He got right in my face, causing me to wince involuntarily because I wasn't awake enough yet to hide it. "You stand there ignoring me because you're too busy staring at a beautiful woman and then you have the audacity to lie and say it was nothing."

I was thoroughly embarrassed, but not so thoroughly embarrassed as to resist the urge to look at Carter. Her face was a frightening shade of red and her eyes were trained on the floor. I thought she was as thoroughly embarrassed as I should have been, but I realized after a moment that she wasn't embarrassed at all. She was mad, insulted, angry. Hammond had been able to admit that she was beautiful, somehow without it sounding inappropriate and weird and she was upset that I hadn't taken the opportunity to do the same.

Oh well, at least there was something that I could fix. I let my cocky grin slide over my face as I stared at the top of her head and willed her to look up at me.

"Sorry, sir, I was just smiling at that impossibly sexy woman over there cause I'm too tired to care that I shouldn't be." My cocky grin only lasted a second under the withering stare of the general. But at least Carter was smiling.

As my eyes darted back to the floor, I caught a glance of Carter's face. Sure, she'd been startled at first by my words, but the surprised was quickly replaced by pride. She was fighting back a smile and I knew she'd done it on purpose. I'd walked right into her trap. She glanced up and caught my eyes, daring to smile while Hammond tried to regain his composure. Hammond's face was tomato red. I probably could have seen steam coming out of his ears except that I was staring and grinning at Carter. I was smiling so hard my face hurt.

"Get the hell out of here and don't come back until you can be held accountable for your actions."

Carter darted for the door. I scrambled after her, fearing exactly what Hammond would say if he caught me alone and fearing he would realize that sending us to get ready for a mission meant sending us back to the locker room together.

We made very little progress. Carter made it to the stairs and probably would have jogged down them had she not grabbed the railing. It was just a plain metal railing that we'd both touched a million times over the years. But we'd never been highly sensitive to physical sensation. Carter stopped dead, fascinated by the painted rail. I was trying to control myself, paralyzed into immobility by the conflicting desires - the first telling me to run for my life from Hammond, the second telling me that anything Carter found so captivating as to squat down to inspect it had to be worth my time. My hand snaked out to feel it, sliding lightly along the smooth, cool metal. I ran my hand back and forth over it, completely forgetting about everything else.

"Colonel O'Neill!" The sound of Hammond's voice brought me right back. He smiled irritatingly at me. "Why don't you head to the locker room and get ready while the major continues her safety inspection?"

I grimaced. "Yes, sir." I drug my feet as I walked around Carter, loathe to leave her again. I actually made it two steps before I noticed the steps. The steps themselves were boring concrete. It was the thick black strip at the end of each one that caught my eye. Ostensibly, I knew the strip was course, to keep people from slipping and falling down the stairs. I also knew that to keep people from falling that strip had to be particularly rough, but it didn't matter. I needed to feel it. I squatted down, only gently touching the edge. It was as course as I'd expected. Rather than pulling away from the uncomfortable sensation, I pressed harder, feeling the grainy bumps under my hand.

"Colonel?"

"I'm going, I'm going." I abandoned my study of the steps unhappily. Sadly, Carter didn't even notice when I walked away. I forced myself to stay focused as I changed. All I had to do was remind myself that once we got though the gate, Carter and I would be away from General Hammond and we could explore anything we wanted, including each other. The thought that I had every intention of disobeying orders should have been sobering, but I was smiling as I headed back to the gate room.

When Carter appeared through the door, dressed and ready to go, only a few minutes later, I realized that General Hammond had gone out of his way to keep us apart and still get us off the base as soon as humanly possible. I was almost proud of how sneaky he could be, except that I didn't want him being sneaky to my detriment.

I was so annoyed with him that I completely ignored his send off, instead turning to Carter. "Ready?" My smile was probably bordering on lecherous, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Sure." Then she yawned, not even bother to cover her mouth. "Sir."

I stretched out my arm, indicating that she should go first, but I quickly caught up to her. Although we'd started out with a few feet between us, by the time we got to the gate, our hands were brushing one another. I winked at her as we both took one more step. The last thing I felt was her hand grasping mine.

So we were holding hands stepping through the gate. So what. We were going to a place where the expected us to be touchy-feely. They worked their little magic specifically so we couldn't resist being touchy-feely. Unfortunately, I'd momentarily forgotten about their nifty memory-wiping technology. So I'll never know how well we were received by Togar and his people.

But I'll never forget the fury on General Hammond's face as we reemerged from the gate, walking down the ramp a millisecond later with our hands still entwined. I almost wished for another trip through the memory-wiper. I had the presence of mind to think about releasing my hold on Carter, but I felt her grip tighten the moment she realized what had happened.

Hammond's glare was fixed on our joined hands for a long time before he finally looked up at my face. "Colonel, I strongly suggest you tell me that the last twelve hours were successful in getting those damn things removed." He glared back at our hands again. "And I even more strongly suggest you remain a professional distance from Major Carter."

Reluctantly, I dropped her hand and shifted slightly away - certainly not a professional distance, but I figured it would count as an attempt. "Twelve hours, sir?" I didn't know why, but it still sort of shocked me. I was never going to get used to having time stolen from my life. I peeked at Carter, who only shrugged at me. "We should probably skedaddle off to the infirmary to have our heads examined, huh?"

Hammond looked back and forth between us. "Do you have any idea whether you're back to normal or not?"

I turned to Carter, who was tugging at her collar with a scowl. Boldly, I reached out and ran my hand along her cheek. It was as soft as I remembered. She looked up at me with a smile as her hand dropped her collar in favor of resting on my arm. I closed my eyes to savor the feeling. Without permission, my hand slipped back into her hair, pulling her forward into a kiss with little effort.

"Colonel!" The sound of the general screaming in my ear was sufficient motivation to pull away from Carter. I realized that, up close, his red face and flaring nostrils were once again reminding me of a bull about to charge.

"That would be a no on the back to normal thing, sir."

He didn't step back. "Is that so?"

I winced. "Apparently."

He turned then, motioning at the still armed defense team. "Someone escort them to the infirmary and make sure they don't get distracted on the way."

I rolled my eyes at his back then dutifully followed Carter to see Dr. Frasier.


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: So this was going to be the last part, but you know how that goes... I'm fairly certain there's only one more part after this. _

Chapter Seven

Silly Janet. She was the only member of the SGC who was still openly amused by our predicament and not afraid of General Hammond. So amused, in fact, that she didn't see any need to separate us. She only smiled as we took our seats for our exams, saying nothing when we chose to sit next to each other on one of the cots. And although I couldn't be certain, she seemed to be taking her good old time to get to us, leaving us to our own devices for quite a while before she managed to fit us in to her busy schedule.

Carter and I didn't mind. We tried to resist. Really, we did. Kind of. But we were sitting right next to each other and we were bored and it seemed like a good way to pass the time. Carter reached for my hand - I swear it wasn't me. Her touch was just as amazing as the first time. We were right out in the open. It was forbidden, illicit, perfect.

It was only a minute before the hand holding seemed tame. I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, that I shouldn't be kissing her or touching her or admitting to those feelings I'd always, almost always, denied. I thanked God once more for the wonderful chip in my head that made me resistant to rules.

Janet politely cleared her throat a moment later. "I'm sorry to bother you, sir." At least she looked apologetic.

"Sure you are." I wanted to be stern and mean and order her to leave us alone, but I knew that would only resort in Hammond getting involved and I'd already determined that it was much better that Hammond not be involved when making out with Carter was also involved. "Just hurry up." I'd also realized that the time between Hammond sneak attacks was pretty small and it was about time for one.

"It's probably better this way, sir."

Janet earned my meanest glare, but that was all. There was nothing I could say. She wasn't wrong. I reluctantly sat back, but I didn't move to another bed. Instead we sat side by side while Janet examined us. All three of us pretended there was nothing peculiar about Carter and I holding hands. Eventually, she had to separate us, despite my protests that we could both fit in the MRI machine together if we snuggled. Carter giggled playfully when I suggested it which put me in a good enough mood to give in to Janet's insistence that we split up.

I waited patiently, impatiently really, while Janet had Carter locked in the MRI machine. Carter did the same for me. Once that was done, I climbed up on the bed next to Carter; my hand immediately entwining with hers. A minute later, she was leaning against me. A minute after that, my hands were in her hair, guiding her mouth to mine. I swear, no matter how many times I'd kissed her by then, there was still such a spark between us that it felt like the first time. I told myself it was just because of the chip in my head, but part of me believed that it was just Carter and I. But then Carter climbed into my lap, surprising me to no end and distracting me from any thoughts besides the feel of her against me.

I pulled back, glancing at Janet. "Can you pull that curtain?" I figured it would be nice to spare Carter needless embarrassment by preventing the staff from witnessing the show we were about to put on.

"Absolutely not."

I was so startled by Hammond's voice that I jumped right off the bed. Unfortunately, Carter hadn't been expecting it and she went flying off my lap and onto the floor at Hammond's feet. The drop stunned her for a minute; long enough that I started to worry and Janet crouched down to see if she had bumped her head. Carter was, apparently, more embarrassed than injured and reluctantly stood up next to me to face a very unhappy general.

His face revealed neither anger nor concern as he looked at her. "Are you all right, Major?"

I watched her wince out of the corner of my eye. "Define all right, sir."

Janet spoke up, if only to extricate herself from the situation a moment faster. "Sir, there are no new injuries or changes that I can detect. I'm waiting for the results of their MRIs, but I doubt they will shed any new information."

Hammond looked us over. I watched as an evil smile took firm hold of his face. "Colonel, both you and Major Carter hate the infirmary, right?"

I nodded while I tried to ignore the shocked, hurt look on Janet's face. "We don't necessarily hate the room itself or the staff, sir. It's really the 'infirm' part of being in the infirmary that Carter and I both dislike."

He glared at me, unappreciative of my attempt to both amuse and assure Janet. He turned to Janet. "They're yours for the day. Keep them here. Make them wear those gowns. Poke them full of holes. Experiment on them." He looked at me. "I told you there would be a punishment."

Janet looked confused, not eager, thank God. "But, sir-"

"Separate beds, Doctor Frasier."

Janet looked even more confused. "How am I supposed to manage that, sir?"

"Sedate them if you have to." He patted her shoulder. "Or if you want to. I know they're uncooperative and this isn't meant to be a punishment for you." He turned and walked out, humming happily to himself. Janet stared after him.

My hand snaked over and wrapped around Carter's, pulling her closer until I could put my arms around her. She smiled up at me, with a fairly disarming mixture of innocence and seduction shining in her eyes. I felt myself smiling at her. I must have looked like the world's biggest idiot, but I didn't care. I stared straight into her eyes and confessed feelings which I would later have to admit to myself had nothing to do with an enhanced sense of touch. "I love you, Carter."

She grinned and leaned forward to kiss me. "I was hoping you'd say that." She kissed me again. "Cause I'd feel awfully stupid to be this in love with someone who wasn't in love with me."

"Um sir?" Janet's voice sounded as small and miserable as I'd ever heard it.

"What?" I didn't look at her. I couldn't tear my eyes off the beauty in my arms, who just so happened to be in love with me.

"I, uh, have orders, sir, and, um-"

Carter turned away for a second to smile placatingly at her friend. "Come on, Janet, be a sport."

"Sam, I would, but-"

Luckily, the phone rang. "Go answer that, Doc. That's an order!"

Carter giggled. I really liked it when she laughed at my jokes. It was so much more fun than when she pretended they weren't funny or forced herself not to smile. I closed the distance between us once again and was thoroughly exploring Carter's mouth when I heard the phone slam in its cradle. Carter and I both turned to look, amazed to see Janet storming unhappily from the room.

That was the last thought we gave her as we relocated once again to the bed.

Unfortunately, Janet came storming back in only a few brief moments later with General Hammond at her heels. She paid no mind to us or what we were doing, although we did defer to authority and at least sit up when we saw our boss. Janet was holding x-rays or something in her hands, flicking on the light behind the bed we were on and hooking the films into the light.

I looked at Carter. She shrugged. I shrugged back and slid my arms around her as we intently studied the pictures Janet was intently studying. Ok, well, I started out that way, but then I started intently studying how nice Carter smelled and how nice it felt when she snuggled back into my arms and I noticed her eyes were closed, intently not studying at all.

"General Hammond, these are the most recent MRIs from Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill."

The general took a moment to glare angrily at me before turning back to Janet and actually looking concerned. "What's wrong with them?"

Dr. Frasier folded her arms over her chest and glared at me. "Nothing, sir. There's nothing wrong with either one of them."

My big mouth opened up before I really thought about what she was saying. "Oh, Doc, I'm sure that statement is categorically untrue."

Carter stiffened in my arms, cluing me in to the fact that something was very, very wrong.

Hammond was a second behind Carter in understanding Janet's words. "Nothing?"

Janet pouted at me and Sam before turning back to Hammond. "Absolutely nothing. They're fine. The scans are clear."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Hammond stepped forward, his anger actually focusing on Janet first. "You're not telling me they've been putting me on this whole time! Major Carter's service record is spotless. You can't tell me she would willingly participate in something like this!"

"Not the whole time, sir, no." Janet took a step back from Hammond, daring to glare at us once again. "There was a foreign object in both of their heads yesterday." She folded her arms over her chest and stood her ground as she faced him. "As far as I can tell, sir, their return trip to 884 was entirely successful and they should be back to normal."

Carter was still wrapped in my arms, but I was fairly certain that was only because neither of us felt like drawing attention to ourselves. But then Carter squeaked, in a very un-Carter-like squeak. "That's not possible."

The fury of both Doctor Frasier and General Hammond focused on her and she pushed back against me. I kept my arms around her, not because I wanted to hold her at that moment, really, but because I figured they were far less likely to attack if I used Carter as a shield.

"Come on, there's got to be something horribly wrong with me, at least." I wasn't sure what good my protest would do, but it seemed like a better idea than standing there and waiting for someone to yell at me.

After a moment, Carter turned her head to look back at me. I saw terror and confusion and sadness and bewilderment in her eyes. She was shaking as she pulled away from me and slid off the bed. She started to back away from all of us, the shock more apparent every moment that her mouth remained hanging open.

And like the idiot I was, I opened my mouth again, thinking that it would help. "You're wrong. It still feels good to touch her." I squeezed my eyes closed, desperately wishing I could un-say what I'd just said. I heard Carter's uncharacteristic whimper before I heard the telltale sound of her boots retreating from the room at a dead run. Fight or flight. Apparently Carter opted for flight.

Ignoring Janet, because I figured she wasn't all that mad or surprised at what she'd witnessed, I faced General Hammond. I realized something as I looked at the man I'd come to respect in the years I'd been under his command - he was as human as the rest of us. He had a wife and children and grandchildren. He knew what it was like to love someone. He understood far more about Carter and I than I'd ever thought; far more than I actually did right then since I was still flabbergasted by what had happened.

"Can the court martial wait for a few minutes, sir?"

Hammond's face, which had been bright red with fury and rage and wrath, held no reproach for the first time in two days. He angled his head toward the door Carter had scampered through moments earlier. "Go. But we're not done here."

I nodded, ducking my head in acknowledgement and smiling in gratitude. Then I hightailed it through the door. "Carter!"

I searched everywhere I thought she would go before I reluctantly starting asking people if they'd seen her. The first ten people I bumped into hadn't seen her and I got the distinct impression they wouldn't have told me if they had. Being paranoid, I decided to try people I knew, because at least I'd know if they were lying to me. I tried Teal'c first, assuming Carter would try some reverse psychology thing on me - like I'd assume she'd go to Daniel so she'd try to hide from me by going to Teal'c. I was pretty sure Teal'c was being straight with me when he shook his head and said he hadn't seen Carter all day. I headed for Daniel's office next.

Daniel was at his desk, reading a dusty, old book that was at least four inches thick. He looked so engrossed in it when I peeked in the door that I actually felt guilty disturbing him. But as I turned away, I noticed his glasses. They were lying on the desk next to him. I looked back at him and watched as he hastily picked them up and immediately when back to his book.

"Ah, yes, that's much better." His tone was so stilted that a deaf person could have picked it up.

"Daniel?" My voice held more warning that he deserved since he obviously was trying to keep something from me.

Daniel looked up as I approached and I watched him quickly decide, as I'd watched him do a million times, that I could beat the crap out of him. "I haven't seen her, Jack."

I raised my eyebrow and took another step toward him. "Seen who, Danny?"

He nervously glanced at the floor and then back at me. "There's only one person you're ever looking for with that look on your face. I haven't seen Sam. She's not here."

I looked around the room which was perpetually covered with dust regardless of how many people traipsed in and out every day. It was rather obvious that Carter wasn't there. But it was also rather obvious that Daniel was lying. I smiled at him, knowing full well that I tended to terrify people when I was smiling and angry at the same time. "Daniel, where is she?"

"I don't know, Jack?" As he spoke, with his words involuntarily turning into a question, his eyes darted back to the floor again. I'd known Daniel for a lot of years and I knew, when he felt threatened, he usually looked for an escape route. So I knew he was lying about having seen Carter and I knew there was no trap door behind his desk.

I didn't even say a word. I looked him in the eye and nodded toward the door. He clenched his jaw for a minute and then mutely nodded, evidently more afraid of me than of Carter. He paused as he passed me and I knew he was trying to find something threatening to say to me to warn me off if I was going to hurt her. "It's ok, Daniel."

I waited several minutes to be sure he was gone before I slowly approached his desk. Carter was there, exactly as I'd suspected, sitting with her knees drawn into her chest and her head down. I stared at her, unable to speak for a moment. She didn't appear to be crying and I decided that was a good sign.

"Are you hiding from me or Hammond?" I pulled Daniel's chair out of the way, unsure whether I should sit in it or join Carter on the floor.

Carter looked up at me, her eyes wide and full of emotion she didn't know how to hide anymore. "I don't know. Both of you, I guess."

I smiled gently as I sat down in front of her, hearing my knees crack in a most unforgiving way. "And you thought Daniel was a good enough liar to cover for you?"

She cracked a smile before her eyes darted back to the ground. "I'm going to have to have a talk with him about that."

"I'd rather you had a talk with me." I reached out, letting my hand slide against her hair and along her cheek before I pulled her chin up to face me. "For the record, you really are that soft even without a chip in my head."

Her face colored red as she tried to turn away. I brought my other hand up to cup her face, effectively stopping her from hiding again. She silently pleaded with me to let her lick her wounds in private before I made her talk, but I wasn't about to let her run away again.

"You know, he let me come after you."

Confusion temporarily replaced the embarrassment. "Daniel?"

"Hammond."

She groaned. "Dad will be so disappointed with me when he finds out why I was court martialed."

"First of all, I don't think he'd be surprised." I let my hands drop from her face as I shifted around to sit beside her. "And second, I don't think there's going to be a court martial."

"Because you've convinced Togar to erase General Hammond's memory?"

I grinned. "I hadn't thought of that, but it's an option I'd like to keep in reserve." I reached out for her hand, but I stopped before I actually touched her and set my hand on the floor. As brave and fearless as I let on to be, the truth was that I was terrified she'd only been so receptive to me because she thought she'd be able to get out of it.

Her quiet whisper shook me because of how sad she sounded. "You're not going to retire, are you?"

"Wasn't planning on it." I shook my head. "There might be some changes though."

"What kind of changes?"

My nerves were acting up, making me well aware of how Carter must have felt when she'd run out of the infirmary. My eyes were on the door of Daniel's office, wondering how quickly I could get out of there. Then I felt her hand close around mine and I knew there was nowhere I'd rather be. "I think Hammond understands. I think he'll let us work something out." I turned to face her and found that she was staring right back at me.

Slowly, she nodded. "So we're ok?"

I grinned cheekily as I leaned toward her. "I seem to remember someone saying they loved me."

She grinned back. "I seem to remember someone reciprocating."

"Then we're good." I kissed her softly. It was a chaste, sweet, short kiss. Not like they'd been in the previous two days, yet somehow better. Because it was real. We knew it was real. And we didn't have anything to hide behind. I sat back, smiling as I stared at her. It was hard to believe it was finally happening.

"Colonel O'Neill, please report to General Hammond's office." Walter's voice over the intercom made me wince.

Carter bit her lip. "I thought you said he understood."

"I thought he did." I shrugged. "Besides, it would appear that he only wants to talk to me."

"Major Carter, please report to General Hammond's office."

Carter winced as well. "We're still in a great deal of trouble, aren't we?"

I laughed involuntarily, the way I always had in church as a kid that pissed my father off to no end. "Yeah, I'm afraid so." I stood up, ignoring my knees as they cracked again on the way up. "You want to sneak out? I'll tell him I couldn't find you. I'll even get Teal'c to say he saw you leave a while ago."

"Not Daniel?" Carter giggled as she stood up with me. "Might as well face the music."

I squeezed her hand for a second before we left the relative safety of Daniel's office. "Maybe it won't be as scary if we're in there together."

Carter grinned, making me forget how anything could be scary at all. "I won't be scared. I'll be too busy trying not to laugh because you'll be smirking the entire time."

"I will not be! I've been in the Air Force since you were in junior high, Carter. I know how to keep a straight face while I'm being reprimanded."

"Then I don't have to remind you that you shouldn't be smiling like that when we walk in there, right?"

Carter started to laugh and I joined her. It was certainly going to be interesting to try and explain to Hammond that we really hadn't noticed the chips were out of our heads because touching each other was apparently that fantastic all the time.

According to Carter, Hammond blasted us for our unprofessional behavior for a good hour, but I didn't hear two words of it. I spent the entire time contemplating the fact that I could kiss Carter any time I wanted. And judging from the way Carter cracked a smile every time Hammond turned away from her, she'd been right about me smirking the entire time.

The End

_AN: Ok, so I didn't lie exactly... this is the end. But I've decided to write an epilogue which should be up in the next couple of days since I have another idea that I'm desperate to get started on. Please let me know what you think. And thank you to those guys who stuck with me. I've found that writing is helping me keep from dwelling on the bad things that have been happening. It's much better to live in my happy little imaginary land with Jack and Sam and various others!_


	9. Epilogue

_AN: Ok, here it is... long await and short, but hopefully it will make you smile. I had a great time writing this story, with the exception off all RL interruptions, and I'm quite disappointed that TPTB never revisited the subject. It would have been so much fun...Let me know what you think!_

Epilogue

We hit the ramp running, forgetting in our haste to escape the angry Jaffa that people would be waiting for us at the end of the ramp. So we flew into the gate room as a dead run, trying futilely to shorten our strides before we actually impacted our boss and various coworkers there to meet us.

I managed it. Teal'c managed it. Even Daniel managed it, although he did collide into Teal'c. But not Johnson, the God-awful, infernally irritating eighty-third consecutive replacement for Carter that Hammond had hand selected for SG-1, although none of the four of us were sure who was meant to be punished more by the assignment. He careered at full tilt into the defense team, tripping over the crouched man at the end of the ramp and coming to a stop against the boots of the second line of men with his leg twisted in a painfully impossible angle. Now, it should be kept in mind that Johnson was not just the eighty-third replacement, but the eighty-third replacement in twenty-one months. Just two days earlier, Sam - yeah, I could call her Sam - had done the math and informed me that it worked out to each fourth lasting just over seven days. I was actually surprised they made it that long until I realized many of those days were spent either in the infirmary, on stand-down while someone else was found, or on suspension for getting excessively angry at whoever happened to not be an original member of SG-1 that day.

Unaware, for the moment at least, that Johnson was bawling like a baby, Hammond met my eyes. "What happened?"

I glared at the man who was sniffling and whimpering like a baby and actually felt bad for him for a moment. "Johnson happened, sir."

Hammond suddenly seemed to notice the crying man behind him and joined me in glaring at him, even while he was being loaded onto a stretcher. "There are bound to be some issues while you're all adjusting."

My eyes darted up to the control room, drinking in the sight of Sam grinning at me. I winked up at her. "Sir, I know you had high hopes and all, but-"

Teal'c cut me off. "It is my opinion that Brian Johnson is not well suited for off-world travel."

Hammond looked alarmed as he gazed between me and Teal'c. He turned to Teal'c. "Did Colonel O'Neill tell you to say that?"

Teal'c offered Hammond his best offended, albeit stoic, expression. He pointed at the man who had apparently managed to break his leg right in front of us. "I did not require any assistance to journey to that conclusion."

I tapped him on the shoulder. "Arrive at. Not journey to."

Teal'c looked confused, but nodded, as though he were filing the information away for future use. "Brian Johnson is unacceptable."

Hammond glanced between us once again, conspicuously nodding at Daniel. "I believe at one point neither of you were particularly confident that Daniel -" He smirked at me. "Or any scientist could be an asset to your team."

Daniel stepped forward, still trying to bend his glasses back into their correct shape after Johnson had stepped on them that morning. "If I may, General, I'd be happy to have another scientist on the team, but honestly, sir, they're right. Dr. Johnson just has to go."

Hammond took a step back. "Am I hearing you correctly? You're rejecting an archeologist?"

Daniel squared his shoulders. "When the Jaffa fired on us, he started crying for his mommy."

I nodded. "His mommy, sir. No joke."

Teal'c looked thoughtful. "I do not believe the addition of Brian Johnson's mommy would aid the team either."

Hammond folded his arms over his chest. "Do you have any acceptable suggestions, Colonel?"

I barely opened my mouth before he held up his hand to stop me.

"And I shouldn't have to remind you that your wife is not an acceptable suggestion."

I clamped my mouth shut and shrugged. "Not really, then."

Hammond turned to lead the way to the debriefing, but I wasn't deterred in the slightest. "What if she goes back to using Carter? Then we could pretend she wasn't my wife while we were on missions!"

My beautiful wife fell in step beside me as we headed into the conference room. "And just what would we tell Danny if we were both off-world?"

Daniel stuck his head between us. "For the record, Danny wouldn't need to be told anything." Sam and I both stopped to glare at him.

He grinned. "Oh, right. Never mind."

Teal'c chuckled. "Had you named your offspring after me, I would never make such a mistake."

Sam and I shared a smile. Our daughter Daniela had just celebrated her first birthday, having been born roughly nine months, give or take a few hours, after that fateful day when then Major Carter had been reassigned to head up the R&D department of the SGC which had been formed in the same breath as Sam's assignment to it. What Teal'c didn't know was that Sam and I had only discovered the day before that Daniela was going to have a little brother, although we were pretty much already deadlocked in a debate over which name would be less detrimental to our son's mental health. Neither George nor Teal'c was likely to escape teasing.

I took the high road and prayed that the doctor had been wrong, so that we could have another precious daughter who I had every intention of calling Carter, no matter what Sam had to say on the matter.


End file.
